Your First Day Back to Work after Maternity Leave

Welcome back to work. I hope you either work at a company that gave you a generous parental leave or you don't live in the US...

I was texting my friend from work the week before she was going to return from maternity leave and she jokingly asked “What should I wear??” the day she would remotely log back on after her 12 weeks of maternity leave. We both had been through two maternity leaves at our company, and experienced the lack of transition from birthing and 24/7 caring for a brand new human baby back to the rigmarole of our corporate careers. There was no formal ‘re-entry’ plan. Simply the expectation to log back onto Microsoft Teams and somehow dive back into the circle-backs and meetings-that-could-have-been-e-mails.

I work because I need to support my family, and I am grateful that my career gives me the opportunity to do so. However, there is no instruction manual on how to return to work after the intense experience of a maternity leave, and from my experience there is also no corporate guidebook that has been adopted by companies to help mothers navigate coming back to work. So, I have prepared a few tips from my experience on how to re-enter corporate life after the life-altering experience of having a baby. If your HR team needs help send them my way ;)

How to prepare

E-mail your boss a week or two before you are coming back. While that date is probably top of mind for you, it may or may not be for your boss. Send them a friendly reminder of your return date so they have the opportunity to think about how to transition you back. Be direct– ask them what you want your top 3 priorities to be in the first weeks of your return. A reminder that you’re coming back could also trigger a nice bouquet of flowers or welcome back lunch?

If you are really feeling it, prepare a PowerPoint deck that strategically identifies why your workplace should have a longer or more flexible maternity leave policy and includes a competitive analysis. Then send it to HR as a recommendation to engage and retain great talent…This sounds like a joke but I did this toward the end of my first maternity leave because I needed to do something with the dread I had in needing to return back to work before I was ready. My PowerPoint slides ended up on the desk of the benefits director and sparked some (albeit small) actions, but made me feel like I was doing something for myself and for mom-kind.

All the preparations in the world: ensuring you have childcare set up, getting a giant, fancy new bag to bring your pump into work, pep talks to yourself, etc. will help a little. But it will still be a whole new world you’re returning to because you’re a whole new you! In the best way.

What to wear

First day back at work selfie after maternity leave #1! A classic chambray button up with camel sweater blazer. Can confirm it was the first day in a while I wore non-legging pants. And a fresh new desktop background from The Everygirl

I put this here because it was a joking question my coworker asked me but also something you’re probably a valid concern you are trying to figure out after months of non-professional postpartum uniforms like spit-up covered cozy sweatshirts and leggings. Girl, wear whatever you want and whatever fits. Actually, use this as an opportunity to do your makeup or hair how you’ve wanted to and buy something that will make you feel like a beautiful boss. It’s OK if it’s a bigger size because that is what will fit you and fitting = comfy. If you work remotely, just wear a lovely top and the maternity leggings you’ve probably been wearing for a year now.

What to do

• Connect with your boss to understand priority tasks that may determine which of the million e-mails in your inbox you should NOT delete.

• Proceed to delete all other e-mails.

• Chat with your favorite co-worker friends and tell them about your bebe’s cute face.

• Organize your desktop.

• Take a selfie to document the first time in forever you got dressed in real clothes.

• Lay LOW. Today is not the day to be your most productive self. In fact, it may take you awhile to return back to your ‘typical’ productivity. Or you’ll find a new level. I remember telling my boss after I returned from maternity leave #1 that ‘my brain changed’. Not only all the hormones but the mindshare for your work is now being crowded out by your little one. It takes time for it all to balance out to your new normal.

What to say

If you desire, you SHOULD talk about your baby and remind people that you indeed were out caring for that tiny human. I’m a firm believer in humanizing the workplace-nothing more human than giving birth to one. Share it! Send pics!

What NOT to say

Inevitably, people will tell you - “it’s good to see you, happy to have you back!” Or something along those lines. You don’t have to say “I’m happy to be back” unless of course you do feel that way. I’m not sure if it was a personal protest for me to do this or just a way to honor how I was actually feeling, but it felt good to refrain from trying to people please on my day back.

What to feel

I’m not actually going to tell you what to feel. But I will tell you that however you feel your first day back after maternity leave is normal. Maybe you are so happy to be back to a place where you can exercise parts of your brain that have been on break–that’s amazing. Then maybe you feel guilty because you are happy to be back–that’s typical. Maybe you are crying because you weren’t ready–that’s human. Perhaps you’re processing your baby being in the care of someone else for the first time and you burst in tears if you think about it too much–that was me! Welcome to the feelings of being a working mom. You are in good company.

You probably understand that there is no real handbook that can prepare you to return to work after a life-altering maternity leave–however if there is one please send it my way... Your life has changed and you will be a new person walking into the door (real or virtual!) of your workplace. It will feel weird. Eventually you’ll find a rhythm again and your brain won’t feel like mush. Just know you need to be patient with yourself. Easier said than done, but you deserve grace.

Have you returned to work after a maternity leave? How did you feel about the return? Does your company have a good 're-entry' plan? Tell me about your experiences!